Thursday, November 5, 2009

HANDLING MARRIAGE PROBLEMS

Marriage should not always be like a fairy tale and this is a good thing. Remember that experiencing conflicts and overcoming them can only make your relationship stronger. If you are having your share of marriage problems, do not fret on how much it is. Instead, focus on how you are resolving them. Marriage experts say that what is important in a marriage is how you manage your conflicts, not how much of them you have.
If there is a marriage problem in terms of distance or boredom, here are some steps to bring the spark back. The first thing to keep in mind, however, is that both of you have to exert effort to bring back the honeymoon feeling.
The first tip is to step out of the fairy tale misconception. It s okay to discover that you are not equipped to maintain always that high level of passion or romance that you experienced when you were newlyweds. We are only human. It is possible to have a fairy tale wedding, but a fairy tale marriage? Not likely. It is much better to remove those false expectations and just allow your marriage to grow more maturely.
Next tip to solve distance or boredom marriage problems is to do sweet nothings. Adopt romantic habits. It s paying attention to the little things like how you greet your spouse when you come home, or how you show how much you love each other at the end of the day. When you do these little things, you are able to reconnect with your spouse. The little things matter very much.
Take into consideration your daily conversations. Most of the time, couples forget how to speak to each other. If your conversations are more or less made up of Did you get the groceries? or What s for dinner? or I m going to need the car tomorrow, it s time for a communication makeover.
When you feel a conflict arising, make an effort to state what the problem is clearly first. Most conflicts lead elsewhere when couples have no idea what they are fighting about. This is a common mistake made by spouses. So when you feel the tension rising, make an effort to state clearly and out loud what you are fighting about to help understand and resolve the conflict faster.
A marriage is all about commitment. One big commitment to be made is the promise to maintain and exert effort to maintain closeness in your relationship. Avoiding marriage problems is not always easy, but if both of you are willing, you will definitely achieve that level of closeness you once had as a newlywed couple. Some couples take a second, third, or maybe even a fourth honeymoon to help maintain that level of closeness. You do not have to wait for your anniversary or a special occasion to show each other how much you still love and mean to each other. You can keep the marriage love alive and avoid all these marriage problems by keeping in mind these simple tips, with just some commitment and effort.

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